Overheard at the Theatre

One of my favourite things to do whilst at the theatre is to do a cheeky bit of eavesdropping. I like to hear what other people think of the show, if they know anyone and of course if they say anything ridiculous.

For example, here’s a story I was told a few days ago. Whilst working at a West End show as Front of House, a friend of mine was asked to ask a woman to ask her daughter to be quiet, as her darling six year old was wailing along to each song one after the other – not something your £60 a ticket paying theatregoer wants to hear! So she went to the woman and discreetly asked if she could request that her daughter be quiet as other people would like to listen to the show, at which point the woman said “She has an audition for Annie later and needs to warm up so she will sing if she wants to”. Nightmare! Needless to say the little girl was quiet after a swift talking to by the Front of House Manager. 

I asked my lovely twitter family about the funny, dumb, and downright stupid things that they had heard at the theatre, and had some fantastic responses. Here’s a few of my favourite!

“There’s no Dorothy in the programme!”
” I was at wicked once and just when the witch hunter says “look it’s glinda” the women behind me said “look its…”then said her own name”
“So the green one is the understudy i presume?” but no, it was a full cast.
“Ain’t too bad blonde 1’s dead funny and that greenylooking one’s got some pipes”
“I heard someone ask if Louise Dearman was the cheerleader from Glee when I was at Wicked.”
“In wicked when you find out the wizard is elphies dad, one of german group behind me really loudly said ‘Ahh der wizard is die papa’ “
“But the woman playing Glinda hasn’t even been on TV!”
“hang on! where does the scarecrow fit in to all of this?!” 
“is that green one on helium?”
“In the interval at Wicked announcement made that Ashleigh Gray had come on for elphie! Lady behind me said “when did that happen” me – “it was after popular!” Lady – “really? I just thought she got really pretty all of a sudden coz of the make over!! “
“Where fiyero knocks on the trapdoor … child behind us shouted “COME IN” “
 ‘Apparently she’s a diva, all she does is come out and sign stuff!’ (Speaking about Kerry Ellis)
Nessa: “my shoes are on fire” *lifts up skirt to reveal shoes and tights* “oh my god! It’s her under the house!!”

“When do they sing Feed the Birds?”
“Is he called Bill Sykes cause he’s Psycho?”
“We were terribly disappointed Emma Bunton wasn’t on as Nancy tonight…”

5 yr old twins ” but mummy that’s a man in that dress!!”
“who is the guy with the nice arse and legs?” …”they all have nice arses and legs!”
“Is that a lady dressed as a man?”
“Do they park the bus outside on the road after the show or do they live in it?”
“Oh I want to see that Priscilla musical cuz that John Barrowman’s in it; I saw him in Lion King last time we were in London, he were brilliant!’

We Will Rock You
‘Mum which one was Freddie Mercury?’ later followed by ‘I thought brian may died so that can’t be him’

Legally Blonde
“Where in England is Harvard?”
“During Take It Like A Man at LB, when Emmett says “What kind of place is this?”, someone behind me said “Next” 
“Sheridan’s amazing!” I’ve heard that at shows where Amy and Susan have been Elle

Jersey Boys
“Why is the show called Jersey Boys when there are girls in it?”
” I dont think there is the need for so much f**king language!” 

Les Miserables
“Final attack on the barricades in Les Mis, just before Enjolras’s body is revealed, as small child shouts “ARE THEY DEAD?!” “
“As Gavroche was shot,Les Mis, a group of old ladies all went ‘awwh bless!’ they thought his death was cute “

1st show took son to he said at interval he thought show was “great mum apart from all the singing”. Show was Joseph!
“At Grease, the understudy plays Sandy in “your the one that I want” the lead doesn’t have time to do the costume change!”
 At Chicago someone in front of me said ” is she saying limp shits!”
“It’s like God’s waiting room in here” (At All The Fun Of The Fair)
“ooooh its just like Austria with those flags! Remember we went there?” (Sound of Music)
During childcatcher searching for children scene in Chitty *small child* They’re behind yooooou!
After ‘give me a number’ line in Joseph, a lady yells ‘I’ll give you my number!’
At Hairspray ” I thought Michael Ball was in it”
Told friend one of the Auks in Lord of the Rings was,in reality vry goodlooking.When one of these hideous looking creatures came into our box to scare the life out of us, all she could think of to say to it was “Are you the goodlooking one” “
“A different actress plays Christine in Act 2”, “Really?” “Absolutely”  (Phantom)

So there’s some of the best Dumb, dumb and dumber moments from the theatrical audience world. If you have any to add please drop me a comment below! Would love to hear some of yours!


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